daughter addicted to vice perfume

i just loved the beginning of this email from my friend tracey:

my daughter is addicted to vice!!!!! just wanted to let you know. we are going to stars tomorrow to get her some before she leaves for college. i love it too!! (maybe i should be your rep)

she probably should be

also, in my celebration of small-town living, a friend told me my next cologne should be called traffic-stopper

she and i both inadvertently ended up guiding cars away from small children and large horses during a rodeo parade (yes!!), although she was the one who was complimented for being the prettiest traffic director this guy had ever seen, and i just got honked at by a shriner in a tiny car