motherhood 9 weeks and counting

little babe came into my world 9 weeks ago 

i went to the doctor a few days after being discharged from the hospital and i had not lost any weight.  the c-section process took such a toll on my body that i had retained tons of liquid and weirdness. a week and a half later i had lost 25 lbs

  i have had a really hard time breast feeding.  i visited lactation consultants a number of times and basically 5 weeks into my painful process discovered my son and i had thrush

 i think both narcotics and pain contributed to a short stint of postpartum depression.  thankfully other drugs and his growth have contributed to our healing

through this nursing process i've realized how valuable my breasts really are in that they DO produce milk


i've also been struck by how obsessed social media seems to be with boobs, since i've had such pain associated with my own

after many agonizing moments my son and i have pretty well figured each other out

now that things are normalizing i'm able to enjoy my son thoroughly.  there must be a specific design to his starting to smile all the time starting at 6 weeks 

 my next task will be figuring out how to balance feeding/loving/caring for my dearest little cutest snookywooky gooogooo baby and feeding/loving/caring for myself and my work